


What Words Don't Have to Tell You

by isolatedwriter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (those two are skippable though if you don't want to read that part), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Period Typical Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecure Bucky Barnes, Insecure Steve Rogers, M/M, Mentions of past brainwashing, Protective Steve Rogers, Recovery, Self-Harm, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve Rogers Gets a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, everything after the winter solider didn't happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27266530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isolatedwriter/pseuds/isolatedwriter
Summary: Steve had felt a disconnect to the words before they even arrived, mostly because he already knew who his soulmate was when he was 16, two years before his mark would arrive. His name was Bucky Barnes.Set in an alternate universe where the most important thing your soulmate says to you is written over your heart. The mark appears on your 18th birthday, but is not visible to anyone else until your soulmate actually says the words to you when it is most important. It follows the relationship of Steve and Bucky through pre-WWII all the way to post-Winter Solider, and Steve's relationship with his soul mark.Tw: There are mentions of self harm and suicide in one part of this one shot. If this will trigger you please don’t read it that part, as it is skippable. All you need to know is canonically what happened at the end of The First Avenger. That section starts and ends with a small line of ******
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 94





	What Words Don't Have to Tell You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [electricvallie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricvallie/gifts).



> This work is gifted to electricvallie, who gave me the prompt: “The most important thing your soulmate says to you is written on you.”

Steve had never understood what could be so important about the words etched just over his heart. For one, they didn’t make sense. They were the start of a sentence, not a complete sentence. But he knew that was not how the soulmarks worked. The words were it, not the start of anything. 

Steve had felt a disconnect to the words before they even arrived, mostly because he already knew who his soulmate was when he was 16, two years before his mark would arrive. He was sitting in his living room on an armchair with his sketchbook on his lap, Bucky on the couch across from him, doing his homework. His mom was still working her shift at the hospital. Steve was lost in his own head, he didn’t even really pay attention to what he was sketching until he looked down at it. 

It was Bucky, hunched over his history textbook, on the couch. The rest of the apartment barely sketched in the background. The drawing screamed home to him and he was way more comforted by it then he had any right to be. Normally once he finished a drawing all he could do was critique it, but now he was too distracted by the thumping of his heart at the way he automatically associated Bucky with home. 

He tried to tell himself that it was more than that. It was the familiarity of the scene and the look of the apartment. But when he looked up from his drawings to where Bucky was still sitting his heart caught in his throat. Bucky was beautiful. He had noticed before, obviously, he had drawn Bucky more times than he could count. But now, sitting in Steve’s apartment in a t-shirt and slacks, suspenders pooled on his thighs, Steve felt like he was seeing Bucky for the first time. Not because it felt new, he knew Bucky’s face better than his own, but because he felt like he was finally allowing himself to see what he had always denied. 

He had always thought he was broken, because he never felt the butterflies in his stomach people had always described came with crushes. That only happened when he was nervous. But now he was beginning to realize why. The way he felt about Bucky wasn’t a crush. It was much deeper. His heart rate didn’t speed up when he saw Bucky, it slowed down. He felt a calm wash over him. He didn’t feel like he could truly be himself until he was alone with Bucky. He knew he would do anything and everything for him without Bucky even having to ask. He would be okay if Bucky’s face was the only one he ever saw.

And that is when Steve realized, that is not the way people feel when they have a crush. That is the way his mom had described falling in love. Which meant that Steve was in love with Bucky, and he had been for years, he just hadn’t know what the feeling meant. 

“Fuck,” Steve muttered. Bucky’s head snapped up. 

“Everything okay, Stevie?” He asked, concern seeping into his voice. Steve shut his eyes and shook his head. He didn’t need to ruin their friendship by saying what he was thinking. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he replied, opening his eyes again. Bucky didn’t look comforted by his response. 

“You don’t look too good,” Bucky said. Steve rolled his eyes.

“Thanks, Buck, you really know how to make a fella feel special,” Steve teased, attempting to get him to change the subject. Bucky’s eyes narrowed. 

“You know you can’t pull that shit on me,” Bucky snapped. Steve just signed. 

“Really, it’s nothing. Just my sketch, is all,” Steve told him, looking back down at his notebook. He was tempted to mess it up a bit, just to show Bucky another reason why he could be upset, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

“What’d you do?” Bucky questioned, and in a flash he was by Steve’s side. Steve tried to close the sketchbook, but Bucky put out a hand to stop him. 

“Steve, if you really don’t want me to look, I won’t,” Bucky promised. Steve tensed, but slowly he opened the book again. Steve couldn’t bring himself to look at Bucky, hoping that Bucky couldn’t see what Steve saw when he looked at it. 

“Steve,” Bucky breathed. Steve felt one hand clutch the sketchbook tighter, and his other clench into a fist, the nails biting into his flesh. Bucky knew, he had to know. He tensed every muscle in his body, preparing for the blow that was inevitably coming. Whether that was a blow of physical disgust, something that would leave him bruised and bloody, or an emotional blow of rejection or hatred. 

“Do what you need to do, I can take it,” he spit out, eyes clenched shut. Bucky took the sketchbook from his hands and put it on the table in front of him. He then took both of Steve’s hands in his own, pulling him to his feet. One of Bucky’s hand’s left Steve’s and came up to cup his jaw, using his thumb to force Steve’s face upward. 

“Look at me,” Bucky told him. Steve squeezed his eyes again. So the blow was going to be emotional. 

“Stevie, please,” Bucky pleaded, his voice softer. Steve had never heard Bucky use that tone of voice before. He was normally so cocky and sure of himself, but this voice sounded anything but. 

Steve blinked his eyes open. Bucky was looking down at him, eyes shining, a soft smile played on his lips. Steve’s own expression must be filled with confusion and fear, because as soon as Bucky saw it he moved his hand to Steve’s cheek and started slowly stroking his thumb back and forth. 

“Buck, what…” Steve started but he didn’t know how to finish. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Bucky asked, leaning a bit closer. Steve could feel Bucky’s breath on his lips. His heart rate picked up, hammering so hard that he was sure Bucky could hear it. 

“You know how our teachers have said that we are like brothers?” Steve murmured. Bucky nodded. 

“I don’t feel like we are like brothers, cause I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to want to kiss your brother,” Steve said. Bucky laughed, resting his forehead against Steve’s. 

“I’m really glad we’re not brothers,” Bucky whispered before slowly pressing his lips against Steve’s. Steve froze, suddenly very aware that he had never kissed anyone before and had no idea what to do. Bucky’s lips were soft and damp, and he was moving them subtly in a way which kept him from thinking about anything else. After a few moments Bucky pulled away, concern all over his face once again.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, and Steve cured internally. He felt blush heating his cheeks. 

“Yeah, I just… I’ve never done this before and I don’t know what to do,” Steve started slowly and then rushed all the words out at once. The concern melted from Bucky’s face as he chuckled. 

“I know that. Just follow what I’m doing, unless you want me to stop.” Steve’s free hand reached out without his permission, grasping the front of Bucky’s shirt and keeping him close. 

“Don’t stop,” he breathed, and that was all the encouragement Bucky needed to lean down and interlock their lips once more. Steve tried to mimic what Bucky was doing. He knew it was clumsy compared to the expertises Bucky possessed, but he didn’t seem to mind, humming in encouragement.

Just as Steve felt like he was finally understanding what to do, Bucky opened his mouth and licked at his lips. Steve gasped in surprise, opening his own mouth slightly. Bucky’s tongue gently prodded into his mouth, which caused Steve to groan, using his fist in Bucky’s shirt to draw him closer. Bucky stumbled forwards, shocked, but went willingly. He dropped Steve’s hand, instead placing his hand on the small of Steve’s back, pulling their bodies flush. 

Steve was glad for the extra support, because he wasn’t sure how stable his legs were at the current moment. He moved his newly freed hand to Bucky’s bicep, gripping it tightly. For stability, he leaned more into Bucky, giving him almost his full weight. Bucky grunted, but didn’t falter. He moved the hand on Steve’s face backwards, tangling it into Steve’s hair. 

Steve couldn’t believe that he had almost backed away from giving himself the chance to have this. He was completely surrounded by Bucky, his senses full of him. All he could taste, smell and feel was Bucky, and he had never felt more at home. 

——————

They were lying awake in bed together, long after they had heard Sarah go to sleep. Steve had his hand on Bucky’s chest, feeling his heartbeat against it, where his mark would soon appear. Tomorrow was Bucky’s 18th birthday, and Steve couldn’t help but worry. He had gotten so used to their stolen kisses, the way he fit into Bucky’s arms like he was made to be there. It could all change after tonight, if Bucky found his soulmate. A soulmate who wasn’t Steve. 

“Don’t think like that,” Bucky muttered, his eyes closed. 

“What’da mean?” Steve tried to fake ignorance. 

“I can see your worryin’ with my eyes closed,” Bucky said, opening his eyes to look down at Steve. Steve signed in his arms. 

“I just ain’t ready to lose you,” Steve replied. 

“You ain’t losin’ me, Stevie. Not tomorrow, not ever,” Bucky assured him. Steve snorted. 

“Even if I am your soulmate, it’s not like we can ever tell anyone. Gonna haveta find a dame and get married. Ya know your ma’ll have your head if you don’t,” Steve told him. Bucky shook his head.

“One, I know you’re my soulmate,” Bucky started, but stopped when Steve muttered in disbelief below him.

“No listen, I know you’re my soulmate, because if you ain’t my soulmate I don’t want ‘em. And I don’t think that you are meant to not want your soulmate. Two, I don’t care how much my ma’ll want my head. I can stay a bachelor forever. Everyone’ll just say I was too much of a ladies man to settle on one, and my ma’ll be disappointed, but they’ll get over it. And we’ll just tell everyone that we are platonic soulmates if the marks come up. I know most folks are real suspicious about platonic soulmates, but they do exist and are recognized by law. Now that I’ve got ya, Stevie, I ain’t never letting you go.” 

Steve was rendered quite speckless by that. He couldn’t bring himself to do much more than stare up at Bucky for many moments. 

“You really got this planned out,” Steve finally muttered. 

“‘Course I do, punk. Now, stop fuss’n and get some sleep,” Bucky replied, closing his eyes once again. Steve closed his eyes as well, trying to lose himself in the feeling of Bucky breathing next to him.

———————

Bucky never told him what it said over his heart. Steve knew he couldn’t but it didn’t stop him from wondering. But as the year went by, and Bucky’s words never appeared, their lives just continued as normal. Steve felt his anxiety lessen, but it came back full force the night before his 18th birthday. 

He had noticed Bucky starting to pull back in the weeks leading up to it, touching him less, not saying as much or not with his usual cockiness. He seemed to have something on his mind, and with the way that he was acting, Steve couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky was planning on breaking up with him. Steve would understand, of course he would, Steve wasn’t exactly a catch, and Bucky could have anyone he wanted. Or maybe he wanted to start looking for his soulmate. Finally willing to break the news once he knew Steve would be able to go searching for his own soulmate. 

It was for that very reason he was dreading turning 18, which was coming up fast now. Steve and Bucky had moved in together after Steve graduated high school, so they were now sitting in their living room. Well, more accurately Bucky was sitting in the living room, while Steve wearied down the wood by pacing back and forth behind him.

“Steve, if you keep up with that you’re gonna have another attack,” Bucky stated, not looking up from the book he was reading, “You can just say what you want to say. I’ve known you long enough that I know when you are tryin’ to work up courage to talk to someone. Believe me, I know what you are gonna say, so just say it. I’ve known this was comin’ for weeks.”

“You got anythin’ to say first?” Steve spat, far more aggressive than even he wanted to be. Bucky signed and put down his book.

“Not really, no,” he replied, he couldn’t look Steve in the eye. Steve stopped moving. 

“So just like that, we’re over. After almost two years together, and god knows how long as friends, we’re just done,” Steve raised his voice. 

“Stevie, you don’t want the neighbors hearing this,” Bucky replied calmly. He had half-turned around on the couch, arm slung over the back, one leg on the couch cushion, the other still on the floor. He was turned more towards Steve now, but his head was still down, hair in his eyes. 

“The last thing I am thinking about right now is the neighbors,” Steve’s voice got angrier, but it did lower in volume. One of the only times he had ever listened to Bucky about a fight. 

“What do you want me to say?” Bucky asked, still not looking up at him. 

“I don’t know Bucky, it’s your life. You can do what you want, I’m not gonna hold you back. Especially not about your soulmate, I don’t have the right. I know you go out with all those dames, I was just waiting for one of them to turn your head, or say the right thing. I just wish you hadn’t lied on your birthday, given me hope,” Steve forced out bitterly. That did cause Bucky to look up. Only then could Steve see the wetness building up in his eyes, what he had really been hiding from Steve, his expression. Steve could tell he was trying to hold it together, what Steve could not understand was why.

“What’da mean?” Bucky questioned, he sounded so helpless. Steve couldn’t stop the shock spreading over his own emotions. 

“You wanna leave me, go out and find your soulmate. Stayed with me while I didn’t have a chance to find mine, but now that I will you don’t have to feel guilty about leaving me, since I will have the same chance as you,” Steve explained. Bucky’s expression went from shaken to horrified. 

“What the hell, Steve!” He exclaimed, “This ain’t about me, this is about you leavin’ me to go out and find your soulmate, now that ya have the chance. I promised that I would stay with you soulmate or not, but that doesn’t mean I expect you to make the same choice. I’d never leave you, Stevie, not unless you wanted me to. End of the line and all that. And you know, I know you know that I don’t have a choice takin’ out those dames. If I had my way I wouldn’t spend a second without you in my arms, but that ain’t exactly an option. And if taken a few dames out keeps the boys down the street from yellin’ queer at ya, and beatin’ you up, imma do it. No matter how much I don’t want to. We don’t deserve it, the girls don’t deserve it, but I gotta. I just gotta.” 

Steve stood star-stuck. They just stayed that way for a while, both panting slightly, their eyes locked together. 

“James Buchanan Barnes, when the hell have I ever indicated that I wanted to leave you,” Steve’s voice was deadly calm. Bucky froze, he knew that tone of voice.

“You never said anything about it, so I just assumed that meant you were working up the courage to leave. I realized I promised you I didn’t care soulmate or not, but you never said anything like that. And I understand, soulmates are made for you and all that shit, so who am I to deny you that? I can make the choice for myself to not look, but I can’t make that choice for you. Hell, I can’t even expect you to think about that as an option,” Bucky rambled on, Steve’s face getting progressively angrier. He moved towards Bucky in two large strides, pointing his finger in his face. 

“I fell in love with you before I even knew what that meant. I was born lovin’ you and I intend to die lovin’ you. I don’t care who my soulmate is, I just want you,” Steve told him fiercely. Bucky just blinked at him for a few moments before surging up on the couch, grabbing Steve’s face in his hands, and kissing him with what felt like everything he had in him. It was not super comfortable, as the couch back was still between them and Bucky was situated in sort of a weird way, but neither of them could stop. When they broke away they were both breathless. 

“You got me, Stevie. Always have always will,” Bucky muttered against his lips. 

“You got me too, don’t know how you could ever question that,” Steve murmured back. Bucky smiled, pulling him back to meet his lips once again. 

————————

Steve had thought the worst day of his life had been the day his mom died, soon to be tied with the day Bucky left for war. Bucky had been all he had left after his mom. However, that paled in comparison to when he heard Phillips say that Bucky was taken captive, presumed dead. And they weren’t going to look for him. All he could think was that he wasn’t going to let this shitty world take away the only family he had left. 

It had taken hours when they got back to camp before Steve and Bucky got a chance to be alone. As soon as they did, however, Steve threw his arms around Bucky, careful of his new strength. He buried his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck, and Bucky returned the gesture. 

“God, Buck, I thought I lost you,” Steve mumbled into his neck. 

“I know, Stevie, I know,” Bucky replied, just as quiet, running his hands through Steve’s hair, “I thought about a lot of things on that table, but one of them was that I was leavin’ you all alone. I promised your ma I’d look after ya, and I wasn’t gonna be able to do that anymore.”

Steve shook his head, still against Bucky’s body. They stayed there for a few more moments, Steve muttering Bucky’s name every so often. Eventually Bucky pulled back, Steve looked at him with a bit of questioning in his eyes. 

“I want ya to check something,” he explained, pulling his shirt over his head. Steve made a sharp inhale, fingers reaching out to gently run over Bucky’s bruised skin. 

“Bucky,” Steve barely breathed, glancing up at Bucky’s face. He looked disappointed. 

“So you can’t see it?” He asked. 

“See what?” Steve questioned, “Do you need to go back to medical?” 

“No, I just wanted to see if… Never mind, I’m fine,” Bucky gave a fake smile, which caused Steve’s lips to curve down. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, we just lay down for a bit? I’m so tired, and I just need you to hold me for a while. So I can believe you’re real,” the last part of the sentence was barely a whisper. Steve’s expression broke, wordlessly moving all the soft things he had in his tent to the ground, trying to make it more comfortable to lay on. Once he was lying down himself, he motioned for Bucky to join him, which he gladly did. 

*****************

Steve couldn’t think, his mind was completely numb. All he could feel was pain. All he could see was Bucky. Everything he saw was a reminder, and behind his closed eyelids was a constant loop of his memories of Bucky. He couldn’t escape him no matter how hard he tried. 

He hated himself for not pushing Bucky to go home, for bringing him on that mission. He hated the army for bringing Bucky into this mess. He hated everyone trying to help him. He hated Hydra for putting them through this. But most of all, he hated the words over his heart. 

He had asked Morita to check his chest after it happened while he was checking for injuries, to see if someone other than him could finally see his soulmark, because that was the way you knew if you had met them. The mark would become visible once your soulmate actually said the words written over your heart in the situation where they were the most important. When Morita said there wasn’t anything there Steve’s heart sunk. That meant that Bucky hadn’t been his soulmate, something he couldn’t bring himself to believe. He didn’t want anyone but Bucky, he couldn’t imagine ever loving someone else that deeply. He didn’t want to. 

He would be expected to move on, be happy with this random person he didn’t know. He knew he couldn’t. He promised Bucky would always have him, a promise Steve didn’t intend to break, no matter where Bucky was. 

The night after it happened Steve took his knife to his chest using a small mirror to aim, attempting to cut the words out of his skin. He didn’t want them there, he never wanted a reminder that there was someone else out there for him. There was blood, so much blood, and Steve fell asleep at peace, thinking it was gone. When he woke up his skin had repaired, the words still there. Steve couldn’t help the tears which stung his eyes.

He tried every night after that, every morning bearing the same result. He ignored the concerned looks when people saw the blood, because he could always show them he was fine. He stopped talking to people, afraid he would hear them say the words on his chest. 

As he looked towards the ice outside of the broken windshield, he was terrified. All he could see was white, all he could feel was the pressure of the jet descending. No matter how many times he had thought about dying, he could never be ready. But now more than ever, what did he have to live for? By crashing the jet he was taking out Hydra, he was saving more lives than he could count, and he was going to see his mom and Bucky again. Or at the very least, if every religion was wrong, he wouldn’t have to live without both of them.

He could have tried to find a way out, he could have tried to transmit his cordites, or at least give them some idea of where to find him. He didn’t want to though. No matter what his chance for survival was low, and this way he could fulfill his life's purpose to defend, while never having to meet his soulmate. So while he was terrified once he hit the ice and the water began to flood in, he tried to find peace in those things.

*************

Apparently he had not fulfilled his purpose, as two weeks after he was awoken he is defending again. The second war to end all wars, that was the war he fought in. But evidently, it hadn’t ended all wars. He didn’t want to feel, so instead he punched. A bag, an alien, it didn’t matter. All he had left in him was that. 

He became the Captain America the world believed he was. If he was always playing a part, he didn’t have to face the grief of Steve Rogers. He didn’t just lend out his consciousness to his character, like others who play a part might do, he let Captain America take over completely. 

He still couldn’t look at his naked chest in a mirror. Most nights he woke up either screaming or shaking, memories of gunshots and bombs filled his dreams. And of course there was Bucky. Bucky falling from the train, Bucky in Azzano, Bucky in danger and Steve being too small and sick save him again. The white of the snow, in the mountains, under the jet. 

Steve visited Peggy a lot, she was all he had left of his life. She would talk about the other howling commandos and what they did after the war. About how she helped found SHIELD, and how it got up and running. Steve would just sit there, finding peace in listening to a familiar voice. She was also the one to tell him about the legalization of gay marriage. Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but research proved her right. 

That night he placed an order for two rings, with  _ I just want you _ engraved into the inside. He placed one on a chain around his neck, the other he buried in front of the grave marked with Bucky’s name. He knew his full body wasn’t there, all anyone had been able to find was his left arm. But that arm that would be the one to wear a wedding ring. 

In that graveyard he reaffirmed his promise of forever.

———————

When he saw Bucky on the bridge was the first time he felt like Steve Roger trying to claw his way back. Captain America would never let a fugitive escape no matter who he was. Steve Rogers would go to hell and back for Bucky Barnes, so he forced his mind to come back into himself. Reclaiming his consciousness. 

Steve had to be the person Bucky remembered, had to give him a chance to come back, even if Steve didn’t. He didn’t wear his helmet, allowing for an unobstructed view of his face. He wore his old suit. 

He had to allow the Captain America mindset to take over for part of the fight, because Steve couldn’t hurt Bucky no matter what. He pulled his punches as much as he could, but once he saw Bucky trapped, Steve Rogers came back full of protectiveness. He couldn’t let anyone kill Bucky, especially not himself. So when it became clear that it was either Bucky or Steve, the choice had already been made. 

He tired one last thing, not to save his life, but to try and save Bucky’s from the world of torture he was in. Try and save him from his own mind. 

“The finish it, ‘cause I’m with ya till the end of the line,” He managed to get out, before he began to lose consciousness rapidly.

Steve expected that to be the end. He did not expect to wake up at the side of the river, hurting like hell, but very much alive. Bucky had saved him. Bucky was going to be able to escape. 

——————

At first Steve looked. He couldn’t stop looking, aching for that piece of his past. For the one person he loved more than anything or anyone else. But then he got the note. He had traced Bucky down to an apartment in France, which was the closest he had gotten. Sam was hesitant to let him go alone, but Steve insisted it was best. 

He made sure to make lots of noise while entering, he didn’t want to scare Bucky. Then he looked around the open studio apartment. It was small, not much more than a few chairs, a table, a small kitchen, and a twin mattress on the floor. He didn’t notice any tripwires or other signs of a trap, so he looked around, immediately finding the paper on the table. It was unmistakably Bucky’s handwriting. 

_ I think I know you, and I can’t seem to bring myself to hurt you, which is the only reason I haven’t. I am trying to figure out my head so I don’t hurt any more people. Stop following me. _

It wasn’t the most eloquent note, but it got the point across. Steve’s breath caught in his throat, both because this was the first actual communication he had gotten from Bucky and at what he was asking. Steve knew it was only fair, Bucky didn’t owe him anything. So he left, convincing a very begrudging Sam let it go as well. 

Of course Steve didn’t stop thinking about Bucky, he didn’t think that was possible, but at least Bucky was alive. He was piecing himself back together and, Steve hoped, finding some form of happiness, something he had been denied for 70 years. 

He managed to get into a routine. The days that passed were not interesting, they all seemed to blend together. Steve sometimes wondered if he was in purgatory, living some version of the same day over and over again. At least he had Sam and Natasha. They made his life much better than it had been when he had just gotten out of the ice. He knew he was still sad, a part of him numb he didn’t think he would ever get back, but he was learning to live with it. The nightmares never went away, but he was starting to have some good nights again. His life was passing by, even if some days he didn’t feel like he was living it. 

But he was better, and Sam told him that is really what mattered. Steve believed him.

———————

It was two years before he saw Bucky again. The day had started out normal, he had gone on a run with Sam, came back to his apartment to change in time to go out to brunch with Natasha and Sam. When he got back to his apartment he picked up a book Sam had been bothering him to read. The button down Natasha had finally convinced him to wear was fully unbuttoned now, allowing a cool breeze to find his skin. That’s the position he was in when it happened. 

There was a knock at the door. Steve assumed it would be Natasha, she had recently taken to just randomly stopping by sometimes. Not thinking she would mind the state he was in, he quickly walked to the door and opened it. 

Bucky stood in his doorway. Steve’s mouth fell open in shock. He looked good. The dark circles under his eyes weren’t as dark as they could be. He had cut his hair, so it was no longer long and flowing, but still longer than it had been in Brooklyn all those decades ago. His eyes had a light in them that wasn’t there the last time he saw him. 

“I remember,” was the first thing Bucky said, his voice holding the smile which began to form on his face. Steve felt tears forming in his eyes, because suddenly he understood. As the first tear slipped down his face, Steve saw the look of confusion on Bucky’s face, though Bucky wasn’t looking at his face, he was looking just below that at his chest, only partially exposed by his open shirt. 

Bucky’s flesh hand reached out, pushing back his shirt on his left side. And there it was, the mark that he had grown to hate, being seen by someone else for the first time. The simple  _ I remember _ which taunted him for years, finally felt like home. 

“It was you Buck, it was always you,” Steve could feel the tears freely running down his face now. Bucky’s hand left his chest, reaching up instead to brush away the tears. 

“Told ya you were my soulmate, didn’t I?” Bucky tried to sound cocky, but his own tears stopped it from being completely effective. Steve laughed wetly as Bucky leaned in, capturing Steve’s mouth with his own for the first time in decades. Steve took a shaky breath at the contact. Neither moved much, simply enjoying the fact that the other was there. They were able to touch.

“I also know I promised you I’d never leave. I know I broke that, but I like to try and promise it again,” Bucky muttered against his lips. Steve pulled back, only so he could gauge the truthfulness of the statement.

“You’re staying?” He hated how unsteady his voice was, but he had to know.

“For as long as you’ll have me,” Bucky replied.

“I guess you’re stuck with me forever then,” Steve said, a smile quirking at his lips. Bucky grinned back.

“Nowhere I’d rather be.”

———————

The next day they went to Bucky’s grave and dug up the ring. Once they got back to Steve’s apartment he proposed properly, grinning at Bucky’s response of “Course, punk. As if I’d ever say no to you.” Bucky smiled at the inscription and Steve smiled back. They put the rings on their right hands. 

Once they were on, Bucky pulled Steve into an embrace he didn’t feel like breaking anytime soon. And for the first time in 70 years, Steve felt like he was home. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I honestly had so much fun writing this, and might have almost cried once or twice. 
> 
> And thank you again to electricvallie, I loved the prompt!
> 
> Also, let me know if you want a part 2 from Bucky's perspective, I'm debating whether to write it or just leave it at this.
> 
> PS: Come say hi on Tumblr or give me some prompts, I am always open to suggestions!  
> http://isolatedwriter0.tumblr.com/


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